The one thing we should never stop doing, (besides loving, forgiving and persevering) is learning. Life has thrown me a few curveballs lately, which is why I’ve been a bit quieter than usual.
However, if I’ve learned anything during my life, it’s that you can’t expect everything to go the way you planned. Whether you’re talking about careers, relationships, business and even something as mundane as travel plans; life rarely does exactly what we expect it to. Curveballs are a normal and expected part of life, and the sooner we get used to that idea, and learn the lessons we are meant to take from it, the sooner we can move on.
Rather than letting those inevitable curveballs get you down, they are a great way to improve yourself. In my experience, as well as learning from the experiences of those close to me, there are a few steps you can take to recover from the unexpected and keep moving forward:
1) Change is inevitable. Even if you’re a creature of habit that thrives on routine, there will be times when routine goes out the window and reality take on a whole new shape. That’s ok. You’re ok. Breathe. Your routine might need to change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t establish a new one.
2) Some changes will be challenging. Very challenging. These times can be trying, but they can also be rewarding. You might discover a hidden talent you didn’t know you had. Or you might learn that you can stay cooler under pressure than you ever thought possible. You might just impress yourself with how much you’re able to handle when it’s thrown at you. There are awesome self-discoveries waiting to happen!
3) Accept the new change in your life. When a change is looked at as a fresh opportunity and a chance to learn something new, it’s no longer quite as scary. Even if you had no intention of ever pursuing this new direction, embracing rather that resisting is always the method of least resistance.
4) Never kick a dog that’s down. I am forever grateful for the lesson my very first role model taught me (my mom): you never kick a dog when it’s down. If the dog is already down, why would you want to upset or harm him any more than he is in his current situation? I believe we should always strive to leave people better than when we found them, that’s how we grow as an individual.
5) Be kind (to yourself and others). In times of stress and struggle your own personal care might be the last thing on your priority list, but it shouldn’t be. Taking time out to treat yourself to something that makes you feel great really does help the healing process. Think: reset button for your brain. Also, the more successful we become, the gentler I think we should become too – because no one knows better. I believe our job as leaders is to bend down and help people back up. That is the only time we should look down on someone . . . when we are helping them up.
6) Don’t throw your team under the bus. The lesson I learned from my first mentor in business was to never throw your team under the bus. When people drop a ball, miss the shot, get it wrong, judge incorrectly, fumble with the ball, make mistakes or stuff it up, you don’t make a fool of them, shame them, humiliate them or make a public spectacle of them. No! You pick up that ball, shoot for them if you must or give them a hand back up. You remind them no one is perfect and that it is ok to try your best and sometimes still get it wrong. There is no “I” in team work, everyone in the team is there to achieve a common goal and should help one another to do so. With a little bit more kindness and grace, wonderful things can happen when everyone is “learning”. Something to keep in mind is that teamwork is about the team winning and not being better than the other.
My most valuable 2019 life lessons so far include:
- Bigger is not always better
- Focus on quality not quantity
- Don’t believe everything at face value
- Have a “well-formed outcome” for your intentions
- Keep focus (on what’s important to you)
- Being right can cost you relationships, but being silent can do too
- Stay humble and always say thank you
- Healthy boundaries are important
- When you look for the negative, it will find you
- Always leave people better then you found them
- Fill your own cup first
- Magic happens when everyone benefits
- Family is important and life is short
- Always, but always celebrate your birthday!
While you may feel like curling up and staying inside forever, getting out there and embracing your new reality will feel a lot better. Your life is an adventure worth pursuing, so don’t let setbacks, even major ones, derail you completely. Though my life lessons haven’t necessarily been kind; they’ve been incredibly helpful in shaping the mantra I strive to live by today:
- Pride aside,
- Ego aside and
- Self-righteousness aside.
If you want to take the time to swap stories about life lessons, to acknowledge and embrace the change and then get back on that horse and ride – let me know so we can get together for coffee.